SELF HELP RECOVERY.COM©

My name is Chuck. Raised in a Blue Collar family system in Northern New Jersey. My folks too thought they were doing their best by providing the basics any normal family would expect . They worked very hard and did all they knew on how to two boys.Unfortunately it included severe abuse, neglect and abandonment ( especially at the most critical development stage ..infancy  & Toddler.)  As I mentioned earlier on the sight THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT A " BLAME GAME of any nature. Even the most educated, most wealthy parents in the World are COMPLETELY IGNORANT of Healthy Emotional Development !!!

My journey probably has many similarities to your journey. As early as my adolescent years I was very depressed. It of course grew into a severe chronic depression in time with all of the symptoms of what they call these days Bi-Polar. I too had zero self esteem. Developed a serious drinking problem I WAS ( past tense ) an alchoholic, smoked two or packs of cigarettes a day. And also an occasional bout of FOOD ADDICTION..not to mention a classic case of Neurosis., PTSD.. and a chronis phobia with several different "Triggers"..

The " labels" you will eventually find out don't mean too much..They are good for Therapists that don't know what they are doing and for the high Profit Margins of the Pharmecutical Companies..

I got by like most everyone else by controlling my feelings, hiding in the closet with my bottle of scotch and "Faked" it when I was out in public...and worked my butt off to be successful so I can feel like somebody...ALMOST "MADE IT" THEN CRASHED...

My drinking problem was getting very serious.  Finally on December 31,1987 on New Years Eve I made a resolution for the rest of my life , and miraculously kept it. Not one slip.

The only problem was now I took away my major addiction. Unbearable Feelings came up, OVERWHELMING FEELINGS . I went for help and just got bad advice. Things were going down hill. I had recently purchased and renovated a large building and I was looking forward to becoming very successful...It never happened..I crashed big time.

The feelings just got worse and worse, fortunately I DID NOT GO BACK TO DRINKING..

I was scambling around looking for answers, to no avail... Then one Saturday in September 1990 while having lunch I was surfing the TV staions and came across John Bradshaw..with a Brand New Series called HOMECOMING...

I started to listen very intently and all of a sudden when he was talking about the Inner Child in us, our feelings and our need to feel our feelings and accept ourselves unconditionally IT HIT LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.. I kept watching all afternoon and didn't stop cring until I went to bed..The following morning I felt incredible..I though that maybe the worst was over...but it wasn't..I simply experienced my AWAKENING.. But from here on I was on my way to a most incredible life changing JOURNEY...

I got a video copy of the HOMECOMING SERIES and studied over and over again...I also participated in the exercises that Mr. Bradshaw leads..

I then went out and started to by more books, I knew I was onto something and was determined to help myself once and for all. I joined two sometimes three support groups and also attended three of Mr.Bradshaw's workshops when he was in the Northern NJ area.

I was making some progress when I recieved the notice that I was losing my home..SHAME hit me real hard, went to the therapist whom I was seeing at the time, and I was so bad off she coudn't help and she sent me to a psychiatrist who after asking two or three questions filled out a perscription for an anti depressent. That increased my shame and guilt and I allowed myself to completely collapse into my feelings, went through an incredible process that ended i an extraordinary deep cartharsis..The following day I felt unbelievable..This was an experinc that I needed to show and prove the theory about feeling the feelings..I will share later about an incredible experince following that where I the discovered that my SHAME was gone, GONE FOREVER !!

The first thing I did following that episode was I threw the pills out !!

I knew there was a better way and I was determined to heal myself naturally.

I continued to study and work the program with the support groups, but there seemed to be a next level I needed to get to..  

As a result of my investigation and affiliation with the support groups I heard of INTENSIVES. An Intensive is given at a retreat with professionals. In the group I went to there were about 25 people. At the retreat you realling get in to two major areas of your feelings VERY INTENSELY over a 7-8 day period. Mostly dealing with buried grief and ANGER.. 

We'll talk about INTENSIVES later..

These Intensives are expensive. At the time in 94' I took the last of my savings in order to go through it, but I had to..and even though it was expensive, it was worth it...

Four months later in Nov. of 94' the same week I got notified that my property was being foreclosed I QUIT SMOKING..by going through the feeling of withdrawal, not by will power, or any patches..Three weeks of hell, but I had so much experience with acceptong my feelings I did it, and now I'm a smoker's worst enemy. The next step was I applied the same principle to my FOOD ADDICTION and instead of gaining weight after I quit smoking I ACTUALLY LOST 25 lbs.

After all of the work I was doing up to this time I had severe bouts of anxiety and fear. And was also faced with a major phobia that still didn't go away. I was practicing at the time different "illusionary" exercises which did not do a thing. I knew I advanced with my grief  and anger work, not to mention my incredible successes with shame, and quitting smoking..by working with the feelings..But I was lost as to how and deal with the other feelings..thought there might be some other secret..Until my "Spirit" guided me back to the Book Store..and as I stayed in the question another miracle  happened. I looked up at the book shelf and what was steering me in the face was a book called EMOTIONAL CLEARING ( copyright by John Ruskan see www.emclear.com )  I opened the book right to the answer I was looking for...I needed to feel these feelings too  in order to heal, integrate them..I learned the process that John Rukan calls Integrated Processing and applied them to the rest of what I was feeling and ...WOW !! Granted it took time..we'll discuss that later... 

With all of this work it was also apparent to me that besides the feeling work, I needed to do something about  some serious negative inner dialog. Throughout this period of time I also investigated the " Cognitive" or thinking part of the equation. Came to a conclusion that matched DR.Firestone's which in so many words is , awareness and a very intentional seperation from or other Inner Parts..explained later..

The dramatic changes have been shared with you on the Home page of this site. I have had family members and friends who haven't seen me in years look at me and validate by saying "What have you been doing? You have changed !! And for those family members..they don't know it, but it was one of the only compliments I can remember from them..

Based on my success with all of the work I have done, I have come to a conclusion that what is needed for a complete recovery is a committment to your self second to none. That committment includes an in depth SELF education you can achieve by reading specifice books that include the approaches outlined here, the education is not only to teach your self SKILLS but is also required to enable you to choose the RIGHT THERAPIST to help you. the SELF HELP APPROACH is a MUST  because to will be SUBJECT TO  moment to moment events and circumstances that you will need to be aware of to apply your new skills with in order to help you heal and grow. You also need a complete plan to guide you and help you get beyond GETTING STUCK..

All of the components of  The Accelerated Recovery Process will GUIDE YOU THROUGH A WELL DEVELOPED,  EFFECTIVE ASSERTIVE PROGRAM to help you also achieve the ACCELERATION you desire.

The last couple of years I have had this" calling" if you wish to call it or maybe it's called following my bliss..to share my experiences and  make a contribution to the recovery movement. This is why I created this site.

WISHING ALL PEACE , LOVE  AND LIGHT...

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