Self Help Recovery. ComĀ©

Featuring the Accelerated Recovery Process..

header photo

PLease Excuse Us..

Please excuse the appearance as we

move to a new server

 

Emotional Healing

Self Help Recovery. Com

The Accelerated Recovery Process™

THIS PAGE IS A SUPPLEMENT OF PHASE II

PLEASE DO NOT READ IT UNLESS YOU HAVE READ PHASE II

WARNING...

Do not attempt to operate any vehicles or machinery or do any other task while you are doing this process work. If you are in a situation with distractions wait until you are in a secluded location, or with a Therapist or in a safe support group...

 

THE HEALING PROCESS

The metaphor that I like to use in comparing what it is like to develop the SKILL of feeling your feelings is like going to the New Jersey Shore at the beginning of the Summer season. When you first step in the water it is very uncomfortable. You would normally step in to get the feet wet then back out...go back in to your knees until you got used to it, then to your waist..so forth and so on till you then ...Just jump in...THEN THE BIGGEST SURPRISE OF ALL...It is so comfortable you have no more problem jumping in because you are used to it !

You will experience the same with the feeling work !

 

Graphic- Screaming the Pain © copyright by Artist Vaggelis Ntousakis of Greece. Reprinted with permission.  Gallery   Web Site    E-MAIL

 

The process is simple yet very difficult at first until you develop the skills.

 

As you become aware of your feelings , DIRECT YOUR CONSCIUOUSNESS AWAY FROM ALL THINKING.. then project your consciousness to your feelings and observe them the feelings as you adjust to a comfortable position.

 

You need to breath deeply into the feeling as you get a sense of embracing it, accepting and experience the feeling as deeply as you can ..as you are  observing the process.

 

Just stay there…breath deeper and deeper the process will last a few minutes, sometimes longer ..if you drift into your thoughts gently let go of the thoughts and refocus onto the feelings.

 

You will notice that the feeling will travel from one part of your body to another. Based on my own experience and that of many others the feelings will move from your heart center, to your lower abdomen and frequently to the throat area…just stay focused with ACCEPTANCE and breathe into it.. try to stay there until you notice that the feeling disintegrates…many times ending with a deep catharsis ( grieving )…

 

 

 

Beginning...

 

After studying and learning the basics you need to work with a COMPETENT therapist who will gradually help you to get in touch with your feelings and begin to feel them. But beware...many Therapists no matter what kind of license they have do not believe in " Feeling Therapy".  Would suggest if they attempt to talk you out of feeling work.. walk away and find one that does!
 

 

 

Advanced Stages of Feeling Work...

 

After you become reasonably comfortable with “ Being” with your feelings, you might consider an ‘INTENSIVE”.  This may take a few months or even a couple of years.

 

An Intensive is where  in fact you face many more of your feelings during a 7-8 day stay at a retreat.  Most of these are expensive, but there may be some available with financial assistance.  They generally are well organized and professionally conducted. You need to do your homework to find a good one. Today the cost will be over $2,500 and some much higher. Back in 94’ the one I attended cost $2,500. It was the last $2,500 I had to my name before I was forced to declare bankruptcy , but  to me it was worth it.

 

During these 7-8 days you work very hard at processing mainly your buried grief and ANGER.. The program is VERY INTENSE ! You go BEYOND where you never thought that you would !

 

For me, the Intensive got me out of the “Victim” stage and I became very assertive with the work.  Four months later and during the first week of the sheriff’s sale on my property was advertised ( the final part of foreclosure)  I QUIT SMOKING…using the same method of feeling the feeling of withdrawal.. NO PILLS ! NO PATCHES !  NO  WILL POWER !  A Total SURRENDER TO THE FEELINGS OF WITHDRAWAL I then applied the same principle…and processed my food addiction and believe or not lost 25lbs AFTER I QUIT SMOKING..!!!!!

 

Initially most feeling work is directed towards Grief and Anger work..... 

 

After all of what I had accomplished to this time I was still faced with severe fear, anxiety and a major phobia triggered by daily situations.

 

Fortunately I had also developed a strong connection with my higher self-spiritual being that lead me back to the good ole book store once again. As I stayed in the question, How do I deal with these other feelings..

 

I knew the release I got from the work I’ve done with shame, grieving, anger and my addictions but was lost with these others..As I walked over to the psychology/ self help section of the bookstore ..this book stood out like a sore thumb ..called EMOTIONAL CLEARING  by John Ruskan. And it happened again . I opened the book right to the page and the answer I was looking for..I simply had to apply the same principle to all of the other feelings in order to process..feel them.   This also gave me a BRAND NEW TOOL . A process called Integrated Processing by John Ruskan. This enabled me to "Process during the day AS THE EMOTIONS CAME UP TO MY CONSCIOUSNESS ! 

 

"THE REAL BEAUTY OF THIS WORK IS THAT YOU WORK WITH YOUR FEELINGS ON A MOMENT TO MOMENT BASIS....AS YOU SEE THE RESULTS YOU BEGIN TO ...CHASE.. YOUR FEELINGS...ONE OF THE FIRST FEELINGS TO INTEGRATE IS YOUR ....FEAR .. OF YOUR FEELINGS !!!!  "

 

Even though I had experienced the process many times before it never dawned on me that the answer with the rest of the feelings would in fact be the same..in other words for awhile I thought there might be a different procedure for different feelings...but that was just my dysfunctional programming sending me on another "goose chase"...

 

 

In Phase I we discussed the Higher Consciousness. Following is an excerpt from John Ruskan's book "Emotional Clearing" reprinted with permission with how we apply our consciousness to the process:

John Ruskan in his book EMOTIONAL CLEARING refers to the  Higher Consciousness as the 'WITNESS"

pg.181

ACTIVATE THE WITNESS

"Witnessing is the traditional term used to describe the detached attitude that coincides with the shift of consciousness from the Lower to the Higher Self. It may be facilitated by activating the Third Eye chakra,which we shall discuss in Chapter 11.Witnessing means just what it implies. We cultivate an impassive stance toward whatever is happening. We become the observer,watching without choice or comment as the flow passes before us. Witnessing applies to inner feelings as well as to external events,implying a sense of "being with" painful feelings instead of being the feelings."

EMOTIONAL CLEARING (Author and copyright )by John Ruskan  www.emclear.com

For a review of the book , please refer to the Books & Article Page.

 

 

 

 

Other Important Points to consider with the Feeling work...

 


 

 

First and Most important...

 

This point will probably be repeated more than once... When you begin to feel your feeling or Emotion....It is

Extremely Important not to " get into your head", your thinking mind...Do not try to Imagine or act out your feeling or

emotion ..You must disconnect from the thinking mind and completely surrender to the experience of the feeling or emotion...

Stay in the experience..allow the feeling or emotion to burn itself out by itself....

A feeling will or  may end with no noticeable reaction ...A deep emotional process will probably end with a deep cartharsis....

 

 

1.The issue of Time. Many people that do some feeling work give up prematurely.  BECAUSE OUR NEGATIVE INNER PARENTING TAPES TELL US IT IS NOT WORKING... WHEN THIS HAPPENS WE NEED TO DETACH FROM THE NEGATIVE SELF TALK...AND REFLECT BACK ON OUR RECENT SUCCESSES with the process.....DON'T LET THE NEGATIVE CHATTER DISCOURAGE YOU OR STOP YOU...IT IS THIS MAIN PLAYER INSIDE OUR PSYCHE that we need to ULTIMATELY DETACH FROM AND SAY " GOOD BYE " TO ONCE AND FOR ALL...And the paradox is we do it through our deep feeling process...the more we process the more freedom and control we develop from the negative inner chatter( tapes)..Even if you did some work for a year or so, chances are you have a ways to go... What will determine if the work is done is if there are any more emotions coming up to the surface...If you can look your ole triggers in the eye without feeling anything, then you are done.. Until then we just need to keep in process and process as much as we can..

 

2. Our body our psyche will only allow us to process a certain amount of emotions at any given time. You will notice a very specific pattern of Cycles when the " stuff" comes back up to deal with...the good news is that the time in between cycles will get longer as you heal...

 

3. Allow your self to go a little deeper each time you are into process. Remember going deeper refers to the EXPERIENCE of the feeling  utilizing your observing self, and does not refer to staying in the head with controlling or will power...

 

4. We will not go into a detailed description of all the feeling/emotions that we need to process...We all should know the difference between feeling depressed, anxiety, fear..etc.  The key secret to understand is no matter what the feeling is we need to process through the them as outlined here..all the same way...the only difference is with the energy present wit ANGER ...it may be to your advantage to have an ANGER SESSION with a professional therapist..to help you process in a safe productive way...to further get to the underlying emotion of grieving... most of the time if not all of the time...a deep catharsis will follow an intense Anger Session..the results will be absolutely unbelievable  !!!

 


ANGER 

 

Anger has a tremendous amount of ENERGY behind it.  This is the MOST DANGEROUS emotion to work with..It has the potential to do serious and fatal damage.  To our self and others. But unlike some positions that many people take, the worse thing to do is CONTROL it and "swallow" it...

 

What is commonly known as "Anger  Management" is a WRONG APPROACH!

 

Anger must be accepted, experienced and " let Go" in a safe and controlled environment with a facilitator .

 

The first principle here is to remember that the person or situation that appears to have caused the anger, did not necessarily ORIGINATE the anger that you are feeling. They are simply unconscious messengers bringing to your attention the deep rooted anger buried within that needs to be released. Needs to be released in a safe protected environment with a facilitator.

 

You can attempt the process noted above to just allow yourself to be with your anger and feel it without " dumping"it back to anyone and just "be there". This is very difficult because of the ENERGY behind the anger.

 

Or You can try "Anger Work" with a professional therapist that will guide you to your anger in a safe and secure place , then allow you to completely unleash the anger by hitting a plastic bat or other safe item into large pillows....this will almost always end up in a very deep catharsis.  The ULTIMATE KEY to this process as you are in the midst of feeling the anger is to COMPLETELY detach from any thoughts and to COMPLETELY  IMMENSE YOUR SELF in the FEELING AS IT IS OCCURRING.....

 

This is an extraordinary deep release exercise. Powerful !

 

Another alternate choice would be to speak with a PROFESSIONAL that will guide you to the underlying issues that will also result in deep grieving.  Most of the time you will discover that underlying all the Anger is indeed sadness and grief...take it to the next level and "process" those feelings to for a complete cleansing...

 

Do not be disappointed if you go through the process and it returns...REMEMBER we all have a lot to process and our unconscious will only allow us to process a predetermined amount at a time...In time the frequency and depth will diminish...

 

*Graphic- Oger © copyright by Artist Joel Duggan of CA,USA. Reprinted with permission.  Gallery  Web Site   E-MAIL  joelduggan@animafax.com 

 

 


GRIEVING  ...

 

 

We all have TONS of grief deep inside that we need to finally let go of... Too often we stop ourselves from grieving or also a common mistake that many people do is stop someone from crying, when they should encourage them to cry as long and as deep as possible allowing the grieving to stop by itself. Following is an exercise that I would strongly recommend everyone practice. Even though it may appear to be very painful, it is extremely HEALNG AND CLEANSING... And don't worry about "Getting addicted" to crying...That's IMPOSSIBLE... The more you allow yourself to clear, the frequency will eventually reverse...

This may sound like a trivial matter but it is very significant with the recovery process.

 

 

Try the following exercise and see how you feel the following day...

 

 

*Graphic- Odysessta © by  Artist Eline Ellende Spek of The Netherlands. Reprinted with permission. Gallery   Web Site  

E-MAIL- elinespek@yahoo.com                 

 

WARNING

If this simple test feels too uncomfortable for you at this time , just skip it and return at some point in time that you feel ok . We are going to ask you to feel what you have been stopping your self from feeling, allowing your self to cry, to grieve. 

This could be perhaps the most important "simple test", because it just might prove to you the concepts that are shared here at the site. It just might open the doors to a whole new possibility..

The only Preparation for the exercise is when the feeling to grieve comes up just allow it to happen. If you try to make it happen, it probably will not, just be prepared for whenever it comes up ..

It must be with a situation that you are all alone. Preferably later in the day when you have no obligation to go anywhere or do anything except maybe to prepare dinner. The most common situation could be if you are watching a TV program that brings up a feeling to cry.  Get in a very comfortable position..

Once your feeling to grieve comes up allow your self to cry as long and as deeply as you can..Completely surrender to the desire to cry..In between each cry take a deep breath, keep breathing very deep.. OBSERVE your self as you are allowing your self to cry.. DO NOT TRY TO CONTROL IT BY STOPPING IT OR EVEN "ACTING" IT OUT EITHER..just let it continue on it's own.. Keep going as long and as intense as you can..GO THAT EXTRA MILE..DO NOT STOP THE CRYING PREMATURELY, ALLOW IT TO STOP BY ITSELF ! Be careful of any thoughts that are attempting to stop you. Even if the thought appears to be your " logic", disregard the thought. This we will explain in the next page dealing with "cognitive freedom".

This is very exhaustive, when the crying slows down and stops by itself remain in your comfortable position and breathe deeply. Now focus your attention on breathing. Focus your consciousness on the intake of your breath, on the exhale say to your self "  relax, relax... Stay where you are and continue this breathing exercise until you feel grounded, back to a normal consciousness.

You will feel very exhausted following this exercise. Just relax the rest of the evening, chances are YOU WILL HAVE THE BEST SLEEP IN YEARS... As a matter of fact when you go to bed that evening , go back to the breathing exercise focusing , paying attention to the inhale and exhale of your breath..You will probably fall a sleep in minutes !

The following morning PAY ATTENTION ON HOW YOU FEEL ... YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL ABSOLUTELY OUTSTANDING! You just completed a " process"...

THE CRISIS  PARADOX

REMEMBER THIS....

THE MOST IMPORTANT PARADOX OF ALL....

THE OPPORTUNITY...

THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE LAW OF THE RECOVERY PROCESS THAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT TO SEE, UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT !

IF YOU ARE CLOSE TO, OR IF YOU ARE IN A MIDST OF A CRISIS..

OPPORTUNITY IS KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR..

MOST OF US ARE NOT AWARE OF THIS..

 

IF YOU CANNOT SEE THE OPPORTUNITY YOU NEED A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU OPEN THE DOOR...

ONCE YOU ADVANCE IN YOUR RECOVERY YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT A CRISIS IS REALLY AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH.

WHEN YOU ARE AT THAT ADVANCED STAGE OF RECOVERY YOU ALLOW THE CRISIS* TO JUST "BE" .. YOU IMMEDIATELY GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND GO INTO PROCESS.. AFTER YOU PROCESS THE FEELINGS THAT THE CRISIS GENERATED THE  CORRECT ANSWER AS TO HANDLE THE CRISIS COMES TO YOU ...

THE CRISIS/ EVENT IS NOT REALLY THE CAUSE OF WHAT YOU ARE FEELING.

THE CRISIS/ EVENT IS ONLY BRINGING TO THE SURFACE THE EMOTION THAT NEEDS TO BE PROCESSED.

THE CRISIS/EVENT IS ONLY THE "MESSENGER".

WITH A COMBINATION OF OUR BEHAVOIR FROM OUR  WOUNDED PART, AND THE INFLUENCES OF OUT NEGATIVE INNER DIALOG  WE ARE UNCONSCIOUSLY ATTRACTED TO CIRCUMSTANCES, EVENTS AND INDIVIDUALS THAT CREATE CRISIS IN ORDER TO BRING TO THE SURFACE THE FEELINGS THAT NEED TO BE PROCESSED. AND THE THOUGHT PATTERNS THAT WE NEED TO LOOK AT AND MAKE A CONSCIOUS, RESPONSIBLE CHOICE.

THIS UNCONSCIOUS PROCESS DETERMINED TO CLEAR OUR PSYCHIC  IS WHY WE ARE ALL OVERWHELMED WITH EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO US.

THE PROOF OF THIS THEORY IS AND THE GOOD NEWS IS  EXPERIENCED AS YOU ADVANCE IN THE PROCESS. THE TIDE BEGINS TO TURN AND YOU BEGIN TO ATTRACT YOUR SELF TO BETTER CIRCUMSTANCES, EVENTS AND INDIVIDUALS...

SO, THIS IS ANOTHER IMPORTANT REASON TO MAKE A COMMITTMENT TO YOUR RECOVERY WORK..IN OTHER WORDS AS YOU HEAL YOU WILL BEGIN THE REVERSE PROCESS TO STOP THE PROCESS FROM ATTRACTING YOUR SELF TO NEGATIVE SITUATIONS AND NEGATIVE, ABUSIVE PEOPLE !!!

* a  " crisis " here is obviously not a life threatening event. If a train is coming get the heck out of the way. If you just got a notice that your job is in jeopardy, if you got a loud voice or thought that your spouse is maybe cheating on you, If you just found out you owe taxes you can't pay ..etc. these are the situations that we are talking about... but in YOUR MIND IN YOUR SPACE THEY ARE A " CRISIS "..and also don't argue to your self if they are or aren't. If your feelings reflect a crisis, it is...

PHASE II CONTINUED...THE END OF A PHOBIA, another TrueStory...

END OF A PHOBIA   

  TO TOP   

 

NEW SITE STEP BY STEP WORKBOOK

 

 

WELCOME PAGE         THE OBJECTIVE      THE JOURNEY    RESULTS     WHY SELF HELP ?

       WHERE TO START     PHASE I     Consciousness     PHASE II     VALIDATION I            

 EMOTIONAL HEALING     END OF A PHOBIA     PHASE III     THE COGNITIVE CURE       

PHASE IV    PROGRAM SUMMARY     Commentary     BOOKS & ARTICLES       

RETREATS         ABOUT THE AUTHOR     SITE QUESTIONAIRE    LINKS         

        THERAPIST REGISTRY     JOIN TODAY      SITE FEEDBACK     NEW SITE WORKBOOK