Have you ever made a decision to do something very important for your self
and then changed your mind ?
And then questioned your self...
why did I change my mind ?
PHASE III
AT THE COGNITIVE LEVEL..
Phase III looks at the negative inner dialog we are all familiar with, and how the thought patterns, some call it the voice influences our decisions and behaviors. We will look at how to recognize the negative abusive patterns and how to stop it's influence on us. once and for all!The art featured to the right called "Alone",created and copyrighted by artist D.D Oved is an absolute perfect reflection of the multiple personalities that we ALL need to be aware of and deal with...
*Graphic-ALONE © copyright by Artist D.D.Oved. Reprinted with permission. Web Site
COVERT & OVERT
Here we will be examine basically how we are treating ourselves. How we are managing or frequently referred to "Parenting" ourselves.
Based on my investigation and actual experience this phenomena be approached in two major categories.
Overt would be considered how we outwardly and consciously treat ourselves and a way to change that can be found with the Self Parenting program by John Pollard.( see below).
The Covert part could be considered the subtle Inner dialog that we all deal with.. that we generally accept as our own thoughts...They ARE a part of our thoughts but are not a part of our core..Those inner negative thoughts that we are all too familiar with,those subtle messages that influence our decisions, behaviors and moods. Commonly also known as the Demons..The voices or thoughts that are brutal not only to us but when we act them out are cruel to others ..the thoughts that appear to be a right choice, but then turn out to be stabbing ourselves in the back...the voice of suicide and the voice that leads criminals to unconscious acts...The voice that tells a parent to abuse their children...
*Graphic- Spirit Demon © copyright by Artist Teresa 'DSK' Galus. Reprinted with permission. Gallery Web Site E-mail
The Demons within are ruthless, persistent and relentless. They will expel their fury at the first glance of a potential crises..just to unleash their terror when we are on our knees... They tell us nothing but lies...They tell us to panic when nothing right in front of us is really happening...but then the automatic thoughts generate an overwhelming amount of severe emotions that completely paralyzes us preventing us to function , taking the action we know we need to take and then the outcome that we were paranoid about manifests itself as a result of the entire process...Whether the situation deals with taking care of our security needs normally associated with our livelihood or also frequently associated with our relationships it is devastating...The Patterns or Behaviors will continue unless we turn up the awareness a notch or two and take action..
*Graphic- Demonic Soul © copyright by Artist Gustavo Guzman. Reprinted with permission. Gallery Web Site E-MAIL
One of the most incredible books that clearly describes and clearly demonstrates the natural psyche phenomenum of what is called " Introjection" is Called Voice Therapy by Dr.Firestone. Dr.Firestone had conducted a long term study and further developed his approach by the same title of the book called Voice Therapy.
reprinted by permission
In Dr. Firestone's ( In my opinion OUTSTANDING ) book called Voice THerapy, Dr. Firestone demonstrates over and over again the origin of the process also known as INTROJECTION...
Reprinted by Permissionn
VOICE THERAPY by Dr. Robert Firestone,Glendon Association.
Pg 61 "The negative attitudes toward self expressed by our subjects appeared to have been incorporated into the subjects' own thinking process early in life,during the formative years."
MORE ON THE ORIGIN OF SELF ABUSE..
Unfortunately if the parenting we received included severe abuse, neglect and abandonment behaviors we will also continue the same patterns with our self and others...The influence of other primary adults like dysfunctional Aunts, Uncles and siblings will also be introjected.
Other common traits of the Parenting tapes include being critical, judging and controlling. Frequently when "WE CHANGE OUR MIND" it really is a reflection, a controlling attitude of one of our introjects. Equally important is when you increase your awareness of the thought process you will be amazed of the significant moment to moment influence the parenting tapes have on our daily lives. The other names that the Parenting Tapes are known by would be the Darkside, the Devil , the Demons . Dr. Firestone in his book called "VOICE THERAPY that we will look at shortly calls it the "Voice" ..
Another fantastic book is SELF PARENTING copyright and authored by John K. Pollard III also please visit www.selfparenting.com
Reprinted by permission:
Self Parenting the complete guide to inner conversations by John K. Pollard III
Pg.40 “ While being rational may be the Inner Parent’s strong suit, it can also have some pretty serious programming flaws. In other words it can act very irrationally at times by tying itself ( and the Inner Child ) up with erroneous thinking. It can be petty and nit-pick unimportant points. It is the “should” side of the Inner Conversation, tending to be the voice that says “you should do this” and “you shouldn’t do that”. It can also be overly critical and threatening voice. Many negative traits you were exposed to while being parented are apt to be part of your Self-Parenting. “
Another observation and validation...
PG. 69 “When the voice has gone unchallenged since early childhood, it becomes the basis of the negative self- concept. In listening to the voice, accepting it, and habitually believing it, people eventually become what their voice tells them they are .“
Narration by Helena Stipanova. "Soul Devourer is its name, cause that is what it does. Devouring souls. Resembles vampires but does not belong among them. You can meet its reflection almost anywhere. I say 'its reflection', because the real one lurks in the dark corners of your mind, waiting for the first opportunity to use your emotions, fears, loves, hates or joys against you and devour your soul. It does so for the destruction itself. Because when your soul is gone, the demon fades and disappears as well."
*Graphic- Soul Devourer © copyright by Artist Helena Stipanova of the Czech Republic . Artwork and comments Reprinted with permission. Gallery E-MAIL
An Over-simplified Explanation..
How the psyche mind develops.. A simple explanation.. In the very early stages of development we all react through instinctive cognition through our consciousness and feelings. When the intellect begins to develop through interaction with adult figures we also adopt their personality traits through not only what is said but also mannerisms and body talk. The process of internalizing a parent and /or major adult figure is commonly called “INTROJECTION”. The "parts that are introjected are frequently referred to Introjects or sub-personalities. Some dominant with our behavior, some non-dominant. There's no need to get upset when you first hear about this, it's normal..As a matter of fact the first step in Cognitive Changes is an acceptance by you of this phenonomen. The introjects are not physical beings within, just completed formed personalities manifested in a complete thought / thinking pattern. As a matter of fact the sooner one recognizes, understands, and accepts the reality of this , the sooner you can begin to make incredible changes with your life. Have you heard of Multiple Personality Disorder ( MPD ). MPD in so many words is where an individual has a very strong "alien" introjection that in some cases takes complete control of their behavior. A way of possibly understanding the influence of "Normal Introjects " is for those who have a full blown case of MPD you can compare that with acute bronchitis, and "we" all have a mild cold... The frequent inner dialog and negative thought patterns that we are experiencing are frequently referred to as parent tapes. In order for us to survive the first few years of life we naturally mimic the primary care giving adults .This also and unfortunately includes immediate critical self judgement and criticism. Have you ever heard a child calling themselves a " Bad Boy, Bad Girl ? I have... The same inner parenting behaviors continue throughout our entire life. That includes ALL parenting acts, whether we curse at our self,degrade ourself, NEGLECT ourself,ABUSE our self. Whether it's directed inward towards our self, or OUTWARDS to others including OUR SPOUSE AND PRECIOUS, INNOCENT CHILDREN.
With the techniques and processes outlined here we can once and for all STOP THE ABUSE !!!
Another validation of the process ...
Reprinted by permission
IAN HEATH
LONDON UK
"Introjection is the complementary process. We emulate the virtues (and vices) in the people that we admire. We incorporate into ourself the attitudes of people that are significant to us. Our own idealised image of ourself can also act as a source for introjection: we can use such an image as an object from which we can introject virtues that we need. It is through introjection that a child absorbs the values of transference."
So, we even introjected the negative, abusive parts as well as some good traits...
A metaphor of the Introjection Process
It is no wonder how the computer is a reflection of the Human Mind in so many ways.
Have you ever recorded MP3s on a CD Rom ?
The Introjection Process is very similar. You know when you record all of the songs you selected on the CD-R Disc , at the end of the Recording session you have to click on " CLOSE". This Closes the recording session and the contents of the CD.
Once it is closed you CANNOT CHANGE THE RECORDINGS...
This is the same with the introjected recordings of that part of the mind.
But just like when we get our brand new computer and it has all of those PRE-RECORDED CD Programs included, we simply do not choose to play the ones we do not want.
If they should POP UP we just click the close button.
Same with the "parenting Tapes", The Idea is to instantly recognize them as they POP UP and don't listen to them and / or react to them...
This process is explained in greater detail later, it will take time to develop the higher degree of awareness.
So, this is why you cannot shut off permanently the inner negative self talk...
This is also way one of the popular therapy approaches dealing with simply changing your thoughts to positive ones really does not work. And the principle described here is why the postive thinking approach eventually becomes frustrating.
With the approach demonstrated here increasing our awareness,
accepting the negativity as a reality BUT NOT ACTING IT OUT AND DISREGARDING IT..
you have no more frustrations and no more negative outcomes because you just ignored it..
This also empowers you dramatically,
your feeling of your own IDENTITY your own INDIVIDUALITY your SELF ESTEEM QUADDRUPLES...
You are now Truly FREE !!!
This is one of the most easiest of the phases to validate your self. Next time you decide to do something for your self or even someone that you care for PAY ATTENTION to your thoughts. Remember your first thought will be your spontaneity. That is coming from your heart, your soul, your core. The follow up thought, either immediately or within a reasonable time thereafter you will ( probably ) notice a negative thought, voice whatever.. that will attempt to change your mind.. BINGO !! There "it" is...
If you stop for a moment and QUESTION the content of the thought you will find out that the content in FACT is not logical and probably down right stupid.
To begin your separation process be sure to completely ignore the commands of " it" and specifically go ahead and do what you want to do.. Of course just be sure that what you want to do was not a something that the wounded inner child wanted to do..Like indulge with that Ice Cream Sundae , or do 85 Miles an hour in a 65 mile an hour zone.
Hopefully you will have done some new self parenting and are "looking out" for your self...
In summary following is a complete understanding and acceptance of this introspection process and how this process influences our decisions and behaviors :
THE ULTIMATE KEY TO FREEDOM IS AN ABSOLUTE CONSCIOUS SEPARATION FROM THE PARENTING TAPES/ VOICE...( THOUGHTS )...complete awareness by slowing down for a moment and paying attention to your thoughts.
From your witness, or if you wish to call the your observing part consciously step back and observe the thoughts. You will clearly see the pattern .
Just be sure that the voice command is not coming from your "Dark Side" ..or your wounded part that may suggest a severely negative task ..like doing 80 MPH in a 55 MPH zone on the highway... I am referring to the "innocent" thoughts dealing with your needs.
Before you react to the comments of the voice do a reality check...QUESTIONS THE THOUGHTS !! Is it really true or is it ridiculous ? Speak out loud to the Voice/Thought your disagreement to it... establish your original position ...
If some anger comes up and providing the circumstances where you are at would allow it, go ahead and yell at "IT". Tell "IT" that it is a LIAR, an IDIOT, a PAIN IN THE BUTT...
At a much less subtle attack simply pay attention to "IT" and simply ignore what it is telling you... Make it a daily ritual to do specifically the opposite of what it is telling you. A couple of years ago I wanted to purchase a new Sport Coat. At the time I hadn't purchased one in a few years. There was a great sale on so I decided to go buy one. I got BOMBARDED with a dozen of real stupid reasons why I shouldn't. I couldn't believe it. I then just disconnected , stepped on the gas , got to the mall faster than I intended, then bought THREE new jackets..
This also includes to be aware of the subtle commands that prevent you from achieving your personal relationship and career goals. As a matter of fact if you pay attention to your thought process you will notice this happening several times a day.
The process WILL cause anxiety, separation anxiety. Remember this is a GOOD ANXIETY.. allow your self to apply the feeling part of the ARP ( Acellerated Recovery ProcessTM) and process the anxiety as you move forward...
The process noted above has similarities to Dr.Robert Firestone's work called Voice Therapy. Purchase a copy of DR. Firestone's VOICE THERAPY and try VOICE THERAPY. If you need help ask your therapist to contact GLENDON ASSOCIATES . They have additional services and material including videos for professionals.
PHASE IV
THE FINAL PHASE OF The ACCELERATED RECOVERY PROCESS TM IS THE MOST DIFFICULT TO FACE . IT DEALS WITH FACING OUR ADDICTIONS ONCE AND FOR ALL BEFORE THEY DESTROY US ONE WAY OR THE OTHER...
THE PROCESS OUTLINED HERE WILL TAKE AWHILE TO ACHIEVE..
BUT IF YOU FOLLOW THE PROCESS YOU WILL BE GUARANTEED THE MOST UNBELIEVABLE RESULTS YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE... click HERE
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