EXTREMELY IMPORTANT !!!
IF YOU SHOULD IMMEDIATELY FEEL FEAR AND/ OR ANXIETY
WHEN YOU BEGIN TO READ ABOUT THE ISSUE OF DEALING WITH YOUR ADDICTION, PLEASE..
STOP READING
AND GO INTO PROCESS AND ALLOW YOUR SELF TO FEEL WHAT IS COMING UP..
INTEGRATE THE FEELINGS FIRST BEFORE YOU CONTINUE...
REVIEW PHASE II
CONTINUE THIS PROCEDURE
NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES...
The Process described here involves a long term committment and determination second to none..
*Graphic- The Dragon Within © copyright by Artist Chadwick Chavez ( walksfar ). Reprinted with permission. Gallery E-MAIL walksfar@psnw.com
ADDICTIONS.. A definition..
One of the best definitions of an addiction was by my mentor , John Bradshaw. The actual quote is not available so the following is a gist of the definition.
In so many words an addiction is anything that we consume or any act that we do in order to change a feeling. This very basic definition is essential in understanding and trying out the following process.
Addiction even though it doesn't look like it, is a four letter word.
The word alone kicks up a tremendous amount of guilt and especially shame.
*Graphic- Dark Night of my Soul © copyright by Artist Markus Lehtonen Originally from Finland, Currently a Student in Bournemouth UK. Reprinted with permission. Gallery web site e-mail
The primary function of an addiction is to cover up a feeling, an emotion. The secondary function that appears to be primary is to simply feel good...
Addictions are adopted by example, cultural and tradition.
There are the unacceptable forms of addiction mostly drugs , alcoholism and sex . Recently smoking is added to the list along with gambling.
The acceptable addictions have been overeating, spending sprees, workaholics and many other acts...
ADDICTIONS ARE CONTROLLED BY FEELINGS,
SO YOU NEED TO WORK WITH THE FEELINGS
TO END THE ADDICTIONS....
THE IMPACT OF ADDICTIONS
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that all ADDICTIONS are self destructive in one way or another. If the drinking and smoking doesn't KILL YOU ,the OVEREATING will...
If you don't do any of those and are addicted to gambling, excessive shopping or similar behaviors you will commit what I call ECONOMICIDE... Lose all of your financial security.
For those who are addicted to money will probably wind up in prison for fraud,a VERY COMMON OCCURANCE TODAY !. Fame & what is normally considered "success" in most cases is simply another form of addiction . If you follow the lives of many seemingly successful people, their private lives are a turmoil.
It has been said recently that our economy has been changing from an Industrial Based Economy to a Service Oriented Economy. When you are on the " Other Side" and can view everything from a different perspective it is clear that we have really become
AN ADDICTION BASED ECONOMY !
ADDICTIONS ARE SELF DESTRUCTIVE IN NATURE PERIOD.
And the other point being here is that addictions distract us from looking inward and taking care of our self.
Once again we continue the "neglect Pattern".
The most common covert IMPACT
is that the addiction distracts us from the feelings
that we need to look at ,
accept and process....
My addictions story...
As I've shared before the first MAJOR PROCESS I experienced was getting rid of my shame. That's why I have no problem sharing my story. And in order to "process" the shame I applied the same principle that I will share here..and that is you need to completely surrender to the resistance of feeling the uncomfortable feeling associated with the feeling and EXPERIENCE IT by following the procedure in PHASE II...by completely accepting the feeling,allowing your self to "own" your feeling and breath deeply into the feeling in the midst of the process...in most cases a very deep catharsis will come up, and once again SURRENDER to what is going on and allow your self to feel the pain ... NOTHING WRONG WILL HAPPEN..THIS I BELIEVE IS THE NUMBER ONE PARADOX...EVEN MOST THERAPISTS,DOCTORS WILL NOT ALLOW THEIR CLIENT TO GO "THERE" BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED IT THEMSELVES...
First I'll repeat as I have on the Home page that I have no addictions today at all. I am no longer afraid of ANY of my feelings...Whenever anything comes up that needs my attention I go into process and "clear it".
I used to have a very serious drinking problem from my teenage years up until I quit cold turkey December 31,1987. Granted at that time I was not yet into recovery and I have to admit I used fear and will power to stop....It was a New Year's resolution. The first one in my life I stayed with. Not one slip. As a matter of fact a couple years later I served as a bartender at a friend's birthday party and didn't get the jitters or anything. I do not recall my withdrawal problems.
"I do recall that the feelings that came up as a result of stopping drinking
were the equivalent of an INNER TSUNAMI..
Fortunately in one way I had educated myself
and realized that I needed to once and for all surrender
and give in to feeling what I avoided all my life...
As a result I lost everything ..My home, business , everything..
BUT
it was also the
beginning of the end of my false self..THE BEGINNING of my real freedom"
C.Barbarow 2004
And the reason I did not go back to drinking was because I started my recovery and started to feel the feelings that the alcohol had covered up all my life.
The other major addiction was smoking. I started also in my teens and smoked all my life. This was extremely difficult and the only reason I was able to quit cold turkey was all of the deep feeling work that I did up to that time. It was November 14,1994. The same week I got the official notice of the foreclosure sale on my property. Things couldn't get much worse and I just said the heck with it I've got to do it now, stop smoking. This was five months after I graduated from my INTENSIVE.. I knew based on my experience and knowledge that I NEEDED TO QUIT BY FEELING THE FEELING OF WITHDRAWL... If I tried to use will power and control with the mind, it was not going to work.
So I gave it my best shot and WON. It took three weeks of hell. I needed to and in fact breathed into the feelings extra deep and "held on"... crawled up on my coach. I admit I almost gave up..but called The American Cancer Society hotline and they gave me the support and encouragement to hang in there one more week. I had completed two weeks and they told me the secret was THREE WEEKS... IT WORKED !!
Today I am a smoker's worst enemy !
FOOD ADDICTION had also caused me havoc all my life as far back as my adolescent years when the kids used to call me pork pig...
One other major success with the work is that after I quit smoking I actually LOST 25 LBS. !! That position that your chemistry changes after smoking and you automatically gain weight is BALONEY!.
Actually the reason why people gain weight after they stop smoking is that they trade addictions. Since I figured this out I was prepared and then applied my new skills to deal with my food addiction.
Yes it did come up after I quit smoking, and went to the supermarket, walked down the aisle with JUNK FOODS and felt the urge WITHOUT giving into it...
THEN I WALKED OVER TO THE FROZEN FOODS SECTION AND WALKED PAST THE ICE CREAM SECTION AND DID THE SAME THING..
It did not all clear at once. It took several times, and now my food addiction is all cleared. No cravings for any junk food at all.. My eating style today is strictly for nutrition, not for "comfort".
Then with my new self esteem getting stronger I changed all of my eating habits ( addictions) , joined the local gym then got into fantastic shape...
THE ULTIMATE KEY TO ENDING AN ADDICTION IS THROUGH THE URGE
TO INDULGE WITHOUT GIVING IN TO IT...BY ACCEPTING, FEELING,EXPERIENCING
WHAT IS COMMONLY KNOWN AS THE FEELINGS OF WITHDRAWAL..***
THIS WILL TAKE PRACTICE..
AND TIME...
AFTER SEVERAL TIMES OF PRACTICING THE PROCESS
THEN GO FOR IT !
GIVE YOUR SELF 100% SUPPORT
BE YOUR BEST PARENT
DISREGARD ANY THOUGHTS TO GIVE UP..
OR THAT SAY ..
" I CAN'T DO IT "
IT'S NOT REALLY TRUE !
The past few paragraphs got to the point with a process that took several months to four years. One reason it took so long was that I did not have a guide to "show me the way". No plan.
As I mentioned up on top that the most critical part of this concept is to understand and accept that ADDICTIONS are all about FEELINGS. We use them to cover up deep feelings, and then are victims of the urge to indulge in the FEELINGS.
THE PROCESS INCLUDES ACCEPTANCE OF THE FEELING, THE EXPERIENCE OF THE FEELING,BREATHING INTO THE FEELING VERY DEEPLY.. THIS WILL TAKE 3-4 WEEK PERIOD...THAT'S ALL...THEN IT'S ALL OVER !! ( preparation to get to this point as mentioned above may take 1,2, maybe 3 years. The actual time of the processing the clearing of the addiction probably 3-4 weeks )
ONCE YOU GO THROUGH THIS PROCESS YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE THE URGE TO INDULGE..
*** THE URGE DOES NOT LAST FOREVER.
IF FOLLOWING YOUR PROCESS YOU GET A THOUGHT TO INDULGE, IT IS NOT ACCOMPANIED BY THE URGE.
THE IDEA THEN IS TO APPLY THE COGNITIVE EXERCISE AND IGNORE THE THOUGHT.
IN TIME THE THOUGHTS ARE GONE PERMANENTLY !!!
NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE ADDICTED TO... THIS WILL TAKE TIME TO PREPARE YOUR SELF FOR THE FINAL "PLUNGE". THE ONLY WAY TO PREPARE YOUR SELF IS THROUGH THE DEEP FEELING PROGRAM, INCLUDING AN INTENSIVE..
THE ACCUMALATIVE EXPERIENCE OF ALL THE WORK WILL PREPARE YOU TO CONQUER YOUR ADDICTIONS IN A PERMANENT WAY.
Once you get beyond your addictions then you will be in the position to ACCELERATE your process DRAMATICALLY...
This exercise will probably be the most uncomfortable. But Don't worry, this is just a " test" an experience to introduce you to the process.
Whatever addiction you are aware of that you wish to be free from , simply allow your self to begin to feel the urge and hold off as long as you can without giving into it..
Now this part is CRITICAL...
don't use WILL POWER !!
Get out of the head and
shift to your
OBSERVING WITNESS...
When you feel the urge disconnect from your thoughts, OBSERVE THE FEELING WITH YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS AND BREATH INTO IT, DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN...
When you get a thought " I can't do it " just blow the thought away and gently bring your CONSCIOUSNESS BACK TO THE OBSERVING/ WITNESS . Get the sense of "Holding onto" the feeling of the urge and just once again breathe deeply into it...
Practice this once in a while..daily if you can. Once you become advanced in your DEEP FEELING work, you will be able to complete the ENTIRE PROCESS !!
CREATING A CRISES..
Of course we are only talking about a simple crisis..like for instance, dealing with a common food addiction..simply go to your favorite store and walk past the junk food section..allow your self to feel the urge and then just begin to get use to feeling that uncomfortable feeling and be sure to breath into it...but
KEEP WALKNG without indulging...
Sounds crazy, doesn't it. But if you really wanted to move forward in your recovery look objectively at your ADDICTIONS.. and pursue clearing them by using the above process.
You can do some progress in recovery while supporting an addiction or two , that's like PRE-SCHOOL.
When you turn it up a notch, do an INTENSIVE then aggressively attack your addictions you are on your way to a most unbelievable NEW BEGINNING..
THE REWARDS..
Besides regaining your health when you conquer an addiction the right way you feel an incredible empowerment , a most incredible fulfillment , a enhanced feeling of self esteem.. A real feeling of FREEDOM...
If your addictions were drinking and smoking now you can breathe ten times better and you will regain your desire to take care of your self and perhaps start a vigourous exercise program that turns everything up another notch..and it only gets better AND BETTER !!!!!!
BUT ALSO REMEMBER
NOW THAT YOU GOT BEYOND YOUR ADDICTION
YOU NEED TO PROCESS THE DEEPER FEELINGS
THAT THE ADDICTIONS WERE COVERING UP..
YOU WILL NEED TO GO
BACK TO PHASE II &
"FINISH BUSINESS ..."
PROGRAM SUMMARY PAGE TO TOP HOME VISITOR FEEDBACK
NEW SITE STEP BY STEP WORKBOOK