There are thousands , perhaps millions of similar stories. I decided not to include many details of my struggle, the intensity of the trauma I experienced is well documented if anyone wished to question it.The mission I created for this site is primarily focused on sharing with you a workable recovery system. My sharing with you my enthusiasm, experiences and knowledge is only possible as a result of an incredible process available to all of you, if you make a commitment to your self second to none.
It was not too long ago that I too was curled up on my couch in severe pain, feeling completely helpless and hopeless. A victim of my buried past and a slave to my addictions to alcohol, nicotine and food. My symptoms were identical to those of chronic clinical depression, Bi-Polar, PTSD, a severe phobia, narcissistic and frequent anxiety -panic attacks.
I had overcome several obstacles,crises and incredibly strong emotional feelings of chronic depression and the other sysmptoms noted above with a tremendous amount of will power, a bottle or two of Scotch and a few cartons of cigarettes. I too thought that all I had to do was to be successful. Despite my limited education, I self educated myself made a major career shift , made several incredible achievements and was on my way to a very successful career.. but the symptoms were still there...
Then after I stopped my number one addiction to drinking I had a major reoccurrence of my depression and phobias and became completely incapacitated and lost everything that I worked for my entire life. My Home, my business and most of my belongings...
I had to make some fast changes, needed to find some real answers once and for all. Over the years I read many books on psychology and tried a couple of techniques with no real lasting effects. Had gone to a number of therapists with the same results..nothing much. Not until I came across John Bradshaw that directed me towards feeling work. Once this new can of worms were opened I became practically obsessed with my recovery. I had to... I was in real bad shape and it was my insanity that was at stake... Suddenly I didn't care about anything else accept to get better..it became a Full Time job...
As my investigation expanded I read many of Mr. Bradshaw books .I also referred to the Bibliography and read many of the books that Mr.Bradshaw read and quoted. Went to a few workshops and did many of the exercisies to help get me deeply in touch with my feelings. This all led me to my first Intensive which is a profound intense experience that really had a major impact on moving me out of the " Victim Stage" into a very aggressive,assertive Phase of my recovery. After experiencing tremedous success I searched for other answers as to how to deal with some severe anxiety and phobias I had and I was lead to the work of John Ruskan, Emotional Clearing that showed me I needed to apply the same basic work to ALL of my feelings. Up to this point the main focus on the feeling work was towards anger,grief and sadness..
Besides the feelings work I also had a major struggle with al the "Crazies" going on in the head. I was able to be aware of them at times without acting them out..observing them ..wondering what was going on... Here is where I found two major works .One by John Pollard on Self Parenting and one by Dr. Robert Firestone with his exhaustive research dealing with suicidal patients..came up with an approach that was similar to the one I was using naturally that Dr Firestone calls Voice Therapy and has a book of the same title. By applying both systems to myself and making the changes that were suggested has made an incredible change from within...
Today I am rebuilding my career and feel more confident and alive than ever..with no medications or addictions .
The processes that are discussed here ARE NOT JUST COPING SKILLS.
The processes here will HEAL the emotional trauma, CURE ADDICTION PERMANENTLY, and free you from the inner thought dialog that is extremely punishing,disrespectful, RELENTLESS AND ABOVE ALL..SELF DESTRUCTIVE
Please do not allow your "Inner negative Dialog" from stopping you from investigating and trying some of the suggestions that are expressed here...
MY JOURNEY ...
My journey has many similarities to many of you. I struggled my entire life actually since adolescence with symptoms of severe depression and zero self esteem . Additional symptoms developed in time as explained later.
As a matter of fact based on experience and observations we have many traits in common. One of my new cliches is, what we all have in common I call ‘CORE DENOMINATORS”.
We all have repressed feelings that are now the emotions we are dealing with, and we innocently were the victim of an “ INTROJECTION” process that controls our thought process. My symptoms included severe bouts of depression, chronic anxiety fueled by relentless panic attacks as a result of some real crazy inner dialogs, Bi-Polar, PTSD, attention Deficit Disorder, narcissistic, a major phobia and at times tremendous ANGER, among others. I used to cope with everything by being a control freak and applying tremendous will power and my addictions. I used to be a "Great Actor".
[*Graphic- Mirror of the Soul © copyright by Artist Fredrik Hogberg of Amal Sweden. Reprinted with permission. Web Site E-MAIL -f.hogberg@gmail.com
I Too, thought that good ole' success,wealth and fame was the answer. I overcame my inner demons to change careers and start my own business, then dealt with crises after crises and conquered them all. I was just about to proclaim my ultimate business success when it all came crashing down on me when I forced myself to give up my worst addiction, drinking. Besides drinking my other addictions included smoking and food.
My real journey three years after I stopped drinking, 1990. As a result of taking away one of my major addictions I was overwhelmed with a “Tidal Wave” of emotions that completely disabled myself from functioning. As a result I lost my home,my business what I thought was my identity.I did not know or understand what was happening at that point in time, it turned out it was the beginning of the end of my "false self".
It sounds bizarre , but the situation turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me because it was the beginning of my Journey back HOME... Back to my journey to wholeness back to discovering who I am...My Real Self !
I started my search for answers over 30 years ago. Reading extensively on psychology trying to figure out if I had a loose wire or something. I didn't dare go to a shrink at that time, I had too much shame..besides back then only mentally Ill people did that, I was just chronically depressed with no self esteem.
Back in 1972 I found the one of the first books on Inner Child work called "Your Inner Child of the Past by W. Hugh Missildine,M.D. ( I still have it ! ) . I felt like I hit on something, but my critical judgemental parts out ruled my feelings and I unfortunately didn't pay attention to the material Dr.Missildine was teaching.
I continued "searching" and finally met with some counselors and psychologists and tried all of the common main stream therapies with absolutely no results, things got worse.
One incredible day I happened to turn on the TV and there was a gentleman Called John Bradshaw on a PBS series Called HOME COMING talking about the " Inner Child" and it hit me hard, right in the center of my soul, my heart chakra..
I knew something had hit home but I wasn't sure, I just "let Go" and for a change followed my feelings... and as they say the rest is history...This was my awakening...Now the Real work was ahead of me...
This opened up a gigantic can of worms .I got a Video copy of the TV Series and studied it,went over it many times and also started buying more books by John Bradshaw and then purchased more books listed in his Bibliography...to study the material Mr.Bradshaw studied..and this further led me to the other studies outlined here about Consciousness and Cognitive approaches to the work..
As a result of applying the principles I finally felt REAL CHANGE within me, a HEALING change... that's what this site is all about.
As a result of a combination of specific applications REAL CHANGE is not only possible but EXPERIENCED ..
Reflecting back on my recovery a natural process had unveiled as a result of the combination of certain processes and procedures, this process became the "Accelerated Recovery Process ". This is what I wish to share with all of you.
A Successful EXPERIENCE, not just another Theory...
This site is a reflection of what the author considers a very successful recovery from addictions, phobias and other common bi-polar symptoms including an EXTREME CASE OF DEPRESSION..
The results that are determined "a successful recovery" are defined so that the reader,YOU are in agreement ( SEE "RESULTS" Page ) prior to investigating the recovery further. If you are not in agreement with the "projected" results then this site is not for you.
The Author is not a psychologist , counselor or doctor. The Author is a layman who has been searching for over 30 years for the "right" answer for a CURE.
The concepts that are shared here are not of the Author Himself, but in most cases the concepts of licensed psychologists/psychiatrists..
One important fact is that there are two major concepts out in the field ..One deals with the conscious control of our thinking to control our self and control what is considered abnormal or destructive behavior..whether the behavior is directed towards society or directed towards our self or loved ones. This approach IS ABSOLUTELY WRONG...
This part of the "polarization of theories" also implements the use of medications and other methods ( such as shock treatment ) to CONTROL the patient..Both of these methods only deal with the symptoms and are not only wrong,unproductive but seriously damaging to the patient..
If a therapist suggests suggest any of these methods THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING..And another FACT IS THIS IS WHAT IS CONSIDERED TO BE MAINSTREAM MENTAL HEALTH...
That's why so many people are hurting, and are not getting better either after years of so called "Therapy"
Another major discussion will deal with the issue of addictions.. The mainstream approach to deal with addictions is Chemical Dependency..This is not only in the wrong "Ball Park" it's not even the Right " Game" ( approach) ..this will also be discussed in detail..on the addictions page ( see navigation on the left )
On the other hand there is a ( growing ) minority that understands the origin of emotional trauma that we are dealing with and are applying a natural , effective means to CURE our trauma once and for all.
Granted the process is painful at first, however with specific SKILLS and with the correct APPROACH, the pain can be minimized......WITH OUTSTANDING RESULTS !!
On the other side of the coin dealing with our thought process there is a unique approach that once and for separate's us cognitively from the negative, abusive inner dialog.. this approach will free us from the negative,abusive inner punishment and also will give us an actual ." CHOICE" with our interactions with ourself and others. This will be explained in greater detail later
And once again I'll repeat these applications are shared here based on actual experience...they are not just "another theory" ..
" Once the discovery of the ultimate truth was EXPERIENCED as a result of a profound process,the DESIRE to ACCELERATE the transformation became apparent. The desire,the wish to end the pain and gain FREEDOM is not subjective by no means, but shared by everyone."
C.Barbarow 2003.
Before you look into this process further you may want to consider the results you may expect. The following page is a comparison of some before and after RESULTS that have been EXPERIENCED along with an article by a professional validating similar results.
THE RESULTS BACK TO TOP HOME VISITOR FEEDBACK SHARING FORUM